Thursday, August 13, 2015
I want to talk about coercion. The definition of coercion is the practice of persuading someone to do something by using force or threats. This is a topic that is constantly brought up within the adoption community. I have heard that coercion always happens and if you don't believe this then you have been brainwashed. It doesn't always happen though. I wasn't coerced. I was allowed to make my own decision. I have heard complaints on when a hopeful adoptive parent or a birth mother supports an expectant mother on their choice that it is coercion. I have heard that we should always do what is necessary to keep the child with the expectant parent. Why can't we just educate and support the expectant parent(s)? How is it right for anyone to tell an expectant parent what decision is right? Being told that you will regret or that you are making a huge mistake is forcing your views onto the expectant parent(s). Being told that just you wait and you will end up in the same position as the rest of us is a form of coercion. I went 16 years without being a part of the adoption community. My adoption community during that time consisted of our triad. I have started sharing my story not in order to convince an expectant mother to place her child but to show her what a successful open adoption can look like.